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new blog here!

babi betul

penat aku tulih panjang gila pasal United menang community shield and the olympics, tetiba browser buat hal

celaka ko firefox

fuck fuck fuck.

it’s been somewhat more than a month now i’m at home. owh and you don’t know how bored i can get that sometimes i wished i was back in utp. at least they got dc++ there. i have to download all the animes and movies myself if i want to watch them here. but then i can still finish downloading an entire movie in one night with a decent speed. 

anyway youtube have been a great source of entertainment for me these past few weeks. i’d never fancy youtube that much before. but nowadays it has been my most clickable site besides facebook. never knew i could find so many interesting shits there. some of the things that i never knew i would like before:

• smashing pumpkins - well, never thought i would love them as much as i did now
• ACDC vs MM Cru With A U - this has been quite a blast in youtube
• JabbaWockeeZ

Jabbawockeez are coming for the MTV Asia Awards in Genting. too bad i don’t have any tickets as they are invitational only. there are some tix available on ebay but it costs rm200+ a piece. that’s just freakin crazy. anybody with extra tix for me? pretty please

but nothing can beat the video from My Chemical Romance entitled Cancer. great song that can make you weep. watch the video here and i guarantee you’ll cry or at least moved, if you get what they are trying to portrait.

i just love musics and dances. to bad i’m too fat to dance properly nowadays. so that nobody laughs, i was once the national champion in traditional dancing alongside my buddies and was actively involved when i was in primary, with the tongkat and the stupid hat, embarassing! but i kinda miss those moments.

how time flies..

Allah s.w.t. berfirman maksudnya

   “Sesungguhnya lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang
    baik, perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik, lelaki
    jahat untuk perempuan jahat manakala perempuan yang
    jahat untuk lelaki yang jahat pula”

                                                         Surah an-Nur, ayat 26

i knew this day would come
dari 1st aku jejak kaki ke alam persekolah masa darjah 1 dulu, aku tau satu hari nanti aku akan keluar dari alam bersekolah sebagai seorang yang berjaya
and as of yesterday, i unofficially graduated from university!!!
well technically there’s still my final year project presentation next week and i have yet to receive my scroll, but what the heck, aku dah habis belajar!
though i might not be as successful or as bright like some people, i do managed to place myself in the most best academic institutions ever namely mckk, kmpp and utp
they were all top of their league, and being graduated from each and every single one of them is truly amazing
but people say you will never stop learning but at least i accomplished what i came to do
kalau ade rezeki, sambung masters, tp rasa macam tak larat nak belajar dah
but who knows right
so what next?
alam pekerjaan la pulak
let’s just wait and see where will i end up working
dah interview macam2 tempat, petronas, malakoff, azrb, global offshore, tp masa depan kabur2 lagi ni
haha

so to those of you yang sayang aku, please do come to my graduation, insyaAllah on the 23rd and 24th of august this year. hopefully tun dr m will be the one who is giving the scroll unlike last convo where the petronas’ ceo ganti tempat die due to illness. orang dah tua kan. datang la sakit2 die pun.

On the 9th December, went to My Chemical Romance live in Kuala Lumpur.  The concert was held at Stadium Merdeka. It was a total blast I must say. I’m not the concert material anyway but seeing them performing live in front of me means more than anything. The last concert (minus the small gigs here and there) I went was the Pussycat Dolls’ concert in Sunway with Nady & Mai.

I’ve been anticipating MCR to come to Malaysia since forever
. And since i missed the chance to watch Linkin Park (time kat KMPP) and Muse (heartbreak kid-time) perform live here, I told myself I won’t miss this for anything. So went to KL with my mom. Tumpang her cause she was on her way to PD for a family function (even skipped family functions). My dad went for his Hajj dan dijangka tiba balik to Malaysia end of this month so I was driving her up til Selayang before seperated. 

Tumpang bermalam kat rumah Crab and went to the concert with him alongside Tya and her friend. I even missed the last minute BBQ held at Farouk’s house. There’s still next time mates. The tix was bought earlier by In’s friend. Went to the venue and meet up with Aiman, Yaa, Aai, Kema and Nina. Bumped into In, Mary, Taq, Adeline and Soph during the concert.

The band performed for an hour or so. Pop Shuvit and One Buck Short were the opening
acts. Around 830, finally MCR came onto the stage and played This Is How I Disappear as the opening. The crowd was crazy I tell you. People behind me started to mosh like there’s no tomorrow. It was really annoying at first but then after a while I joined them. Aku lompat sampai sakit kaki tapi sumpah tak gegar dunia. Korang bukan rasa pun. Gerard’s vocals never fail to impress. The band continue to sing almost all the tracks from The Black Parade like Dead!, I Don’t Love You,  The Sharpest Lives,  Welcome to the Black Parade, Mama, Disenchanted, Sleep, Teenagers, Famous Last Words and my personal favourite, Cancer. In between, they also played their other hit songs like Helena, Give ‘em Hell Kid and some other songs which I don’t quite remember. It was raining and I was wet all over but it was worth every raindrop. Oh please come again!

p/s: some of the pics were stolen from other people’s site. sry for not crediting the  owners. tak igt curi kat mane ;p

am at home for a few days, enjoying the holidays which started last monday
last paper was steel and it was an ok paper for me
taking petroleum engineering is quite tough actually; the subjects i mean
but hey, if i can make it to be anything related to petroleum and petronas, that would make all the studying throughout my entire life worth it
next semester will be my last semester in utp, insyaAllah
i hope i’ll get the second class upper honours during graduation
first class is already too far outta reach, even before i entered utp lagi ;p

my dad went for his hajj last 2 weeks
he won’t be back until the end of this month
so i’ve to come back home to help my mum with household works
paying the bills and repairing stuffs
will be back to utp this tuesday for my fyp oral presentation
and most probably i’ll be staying back during the rest of the hols for my fyp labs
ah, hope all goes well
if not i’ll be dead!

most probably i wont be missing the life in utp so much
but ill miss my friends, my dota and my dc++ network
but there’s so much more to do out there
hope my life will turn out great
the expectation is quite high, but we’ll see what happens

owh and btw, i’ll be going to mcr concert next week
can’t wait
been waiting and they actually going to come to malaysia
can’t miss
anybody wants to be my date?
jk
hehe

Desire leaves us heartbroken
It wears us out.

Desire can wreck your life
But as tough as wanting something can be
The people who suffer the most
Are those who don’t know what they want.

What a hectic semester it’s going to be
Bummer…

It has been 2 months since we broke up and it also has been a month since I last spoke to her, or even heard anything from her. There are times when I feel like picking up the phone and calling her, but what sucks about it is that I know I can’t. I know that somehow she is hiding from me. At least I must respect that.

I am still haunted by regrets and I don’t know when they will go away. I miss everything about her but I can’t do anything. Things have been hard, at least for me. But I am trying to stand on my own, cause I know, she hopes for that too.
If I can turn back time, I will do a LOT of things differently. Is it too late? I don’t know. But what I can do is pray, each and every day. Allah knows what’s best for us.

Dear You, this is for You, whether You’ll be reading it or not. I am so sorry for everything I have done to You. I had not been a good boyfriend to You, that I admit. ;( I am sorry if I changed into something that I should not. Will You ever forgive me?

—>
Back then, when I first stepped my foot in UTP
I didn’t expect myself to fall in love
I just wanted to finish what I started, graduate,
Make my family proud, make myself proud,
And go out into the real world to fulfill my dreams

But then I met You, the first day I was there
You were the first girl that I laid my eyes upon
You made my heart beats faster in a way that nobody else could
And after a year of waiting, chasing and hoping
You accepted me in Your life, as Your other half
No words could ever described how happy, how thankful I was at that time
It was all like a dream, it was all like a fairytale to me
Thank You Mai Nazura for making me feel that way

1 year, 6 months, 3 days
That’s how much time we’re together

Why must we ended up this way?
Why must something so beautiful fell apart?
Why can’t we hold on?
Why did You walked away?
Am I just another boyfriend to You?
Are those days that we spent together meant nothing to You?
Are these memories to be forgotten?
Am I just a bad dream?

I used to ask those questions to myself before
Trying so hard to find the answers
But I am not You
I don’t know what are You thinking of
And even worst, I don’t know what to do
I am lost without You

But then I realized
How hard was it for You to try
How hard was it for You to be patient
How hard was it for You to hold on
You sacrificed a lot to make me happy
You tried so hard to not hurt my feelings eventhough it hurts Yours much more
You did everything because You loved me
And that’s when I stopped asking

I’ve did a lot of mistakes, mistakes that can’t be undone
Maybe this is God’s way to show how wrong I am in doing what i did to You
I am sorry for causing You so much pain, anger, sadness, sufferings and heartbreaks
And because of that
Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy
Maybe I don’t deserve You

I never blamed You for what happened to us
It was all my fault
Overprotecting, sensitive, too much jealousy, not understanding and so much more
One shouldn’t have all that in a relationship but I did
I should have done better to care about You, to understand You, to respect You, to Love You,
But i failed You, and I truly am sorry for disappointing
It was not You who doesn’t know how to love
But it was me who doesn’t know how to love You back
Please forgive me..

Honestly,
I’ve never felt happier than spending all those days & nights with You
Though it was only for a short moment, it felt like a lifetime
I even thought to myself
"This is the girl that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, the one that I’ll be happy and sad with, this is the one for me!"
Hey it’s not wrong for a young guy to dream, to hope, to have something to hold on to
But now, though the dreams are still there, the reality is already out of reach
How can I take it all back?

A friend once said to me,
"Don’t be a wuss, and stop crying over a spilt milk, you’re still young and you still have every chance to find someone better!"
Well, saying seems to be a lot simpler than actually doing it
Don’t you think I’ve tried?
I’ve really tried, doing all those things to make me not think about You
I even went as far as Genting to be happy, to enjoy myself, to not be miserable
But the memories keep coming back, one after the other

God has a mysterious way of showing His love to His servants
Kata orang, "Jodoh tak ke mana."
If really we are meant to be together, then He’ll show us the way
And by God’s willing, if one day the gate that You once closed opens again for me,
Then I’ll be more than happy to walk through it, right beside You
But if by God’s willing too, if He thinks that I don’t deserve all that
Then I’ll be on the other side, accepting my fate, and never stop praying that You’ll always be happy
With whatever You do, and whoever You’re doing it with

We are not strangers to each other
No matter what happens,
You will always be someone special to me
You will always be in my heart
I’ll always be there for You in times of need
I’ll be Your eyes, Your ears, Your crying shoulders
For now, please be happy and enjoy Your life anyway You could
You deserve that, much, much more than I do
And hating You, it does not even crossed my mind

And to my dear friends,
I know most of you are far, far away
But thanks for trying to cheer me up anyway you could
I’m sorry if I was a stubborn brat
I hope you guys won’t take the same path I took
It’s sad, painful and lonely
I’ve learned my lesson the hard way

If you think they are the one for you, fight for them and never give up
Just remember
You can’t be everything to them
And they can’t be everything to you
Learn to tolerate and be more understanding
Before it’s too late,
Before you regret.
<—

p/s: what’s a fairytale without a happy ending? if they really existed, then I’ll be waiting patiently for mine, one day, someday..

I have problems at my work place
I have problems in finding my soul
I have problems with my weight
But I have nobody to talk to
But I have nobody to turn to
Maybe I’ll walk away from this place
But where will I walk to?
Even if I walked away,
Will it bring me happiness, will it bring me joy?
I don’t know
I just don’t know
The burden is just too much.

shit. again, sobs. i’m such a weak and a lowlife bastard.